i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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