Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
