Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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