Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
