Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
this is an emotional support booty call
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
