69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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