True but thats because hes a fetus.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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