I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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