Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
