he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
