I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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