Say something about gay babies.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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