Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
