just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
