Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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