I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
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The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
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tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
did i just pee glitter
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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