my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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