i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
