there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
