I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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