i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my life...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize