What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
