I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
