forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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