My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize