he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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