this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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