I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
