I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
