Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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