I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize