the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
