seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
