what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
