Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize