I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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