My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
