thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
