even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
