Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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