A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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