I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
