you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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