Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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