Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
