I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
