I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
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Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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