Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
