Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Everclear isn't food dammit
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