Who did Billy Mays play for?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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