Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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