I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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