if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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