In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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