and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
