The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
