he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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