Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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