Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
