alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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