I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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