That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Be still, my beating vagina.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
