i just google imaged poop.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
