you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
