Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
