the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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