I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
