I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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