Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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