i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
